Saturday, May 28, 2011

Had a Freak Out Moment!

So we got the letter that Dr. Hoffman always sends to Grant's regular pediatrician. I am reading it so proud and with a smile on my face because of all the great things he is saying about my little boy. Then it comes to the part that he says that he is confirming that Grant has Spastic Diplegia Cerebral Palsy...okay that's fine I'm glad to know that diagnosis didn't change! Then the next line immediately crushed me...he has microcephaly. Wait he has what? Re-read it...yep it says microcephaly. What is that? What does that mean? How is that going to change my precious baby boy? So silly me goes online to check out what microcephaly means...BIG mistake and I knew that!!!

So what does Microcephaly mean? You look it up online and it might as well say "doom" but with some help and advice from some great momma's it basically means "small head". We have been told since the day Grant was born that he has a small head. It's always been small but not one person has mentioned the word microcephaly! I have had a couple people respond to me with mostly good and one not so good response. Of the three, two gave me great words of advice and wisdom and said both their children have Microcephaly and it has not affected them at all. The other woman said that her child's head has grown only a cm each year since he's been born and he is 13. He has problem's associated with it and it broke my heart to hear what she had to say. One of the mom's explained that there are two types of caused by an injury during birth or early after birth and the type caused by a genetic abnormality. From what I understand it's the type caused by a genetic abnormality is the one that causes problems so I hope that we are in the clear.

Grant is such an amazingly smart little boy that I don't think this will be a problem! But yet again I did have a freak out moment! I went in the bathroom and bawled my eyes out for about 2 minutes. I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath and walked out of the bathroom and my day went on! :) I think for me it's a matter of we knew about the CP before we even knew for sure he had CP. We expected that diagnosis...but no one has ever said anything about any other diagnoses so to hear that just crushed me because Grant has gone through so much already I don't want him to have to fight any harder or go through anything else! I also had a hard time because the Dr didn't mention anything about this to me while I was in his office and it was hard to read it in black and white and not know what the heck it meant and I wasn't able to ask questions and that was hard. But I'm okay now and no matter what happens and what the dr.'s tell us Grant is who he is and I wouldn't have him any other way!!!

"And I wont let you fall
Don’t be afraid to fall
I’m right here to catch you
I wont let you down
It wont get you down
Your gonna make it
Yea I know you can make it"

I love you baby boy!!

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